About post-grad life...

Sometimes I can't believe that I graduated college two years ago.

I remember right after I graduated my mom asked me if I felt like an adult yet. Two years later the answer is still "No."

One day I was in class taking the last final exam I'll ever have to take. Then I was in the auditorium looking for my name to line up to walk across the stage. Then I actually walked across the stage. Then I moved back home. Traveled a little. Then I got E.Coli. Then I finally received my diploma and felt a small bout of nostalgia. Then I read so many books in two months that I didn't know what to do with myself. Then I traveled a little more and took my first solo trip out of the country. Then the next day I’m in a meeting talking about god-knows-what. Then I moved out of my parents house. It all happened so fast (but I swear it all happened exactly as described.)

I don't feel like an adult, but for the purposes of this post, I will assume the role.

I have my own thoughts and opinions regarding post-graduate life. But first, I've enlisted the help from some of my best buds, three men and three women of different races and ethnic backgrounds, who completed different fields of study, and who come from different walks of life their thoughts regarding post-grad life.

"Post-grad life is rewarding in the sense that I'm finally just getting my feet wet in my long-term career, but the imposter syndrome is real and can get frustrating internally, even though a lot of time its in our heads and with experience and time it'll slowly go away."

"It's a bit of a culture shock as far as relationships go. We go from seeing each other all the time and being a short distance away to really being separated from friends. It really tests how you communicate and where you fit with the people in your life. I'd say that because of how realistic my parents are about financial situations and me always working, I'm not too shocked at how expensive it gets to be post-grad but it's definitely still an eye-opener, but I think that's part of the test because 23 is such a challenging age of being an adult but also feeling like a kid still."

"I think post-grad life is tough the further [that] you venture from the experiences of people you know and have guided you to this point. [It's a] hard realization that you're piloting your own shit and there's not the same guardrails to lean on."

Contrary to popular belief, college was not the "best four years of my life". In fact, I've had so much fun in the past two years than I had in my entire few years in college. Because of this, I, too, agree that post-grad life is rewarding. It’s rewarding to see everything you worked for come into fruition.

True story: Back when I was a freshman, I literally wrote down every single thing I wanted to happen in my life by the time I graduated. I wrote down how much money I wanted to make, how I wanted to travel often, etc. and I received everything and I asked for and then some. It's funny how life works.

I do experience imposter syndrome a lot. Because of this, I often doubt myself even when I subconsciously know what I am capable of. Regardless of how many internships I've completed, clubs I've joined, projects I've done, nothing has really prepared me for working a full-time job. Although I've been working full-time for almost two years, I haven't really adjusted to it. It's a work in progress.

In regards to friendship, I communicate with and see the people I love often. Because of this, it's difficult for me to experience the feeling of loneliness. However, I understand how hard it is to go from seeing your friends almost everyday to maybe every few months.

In regards to money, I am not *entirely* shocked at how expensive post-grad life is. However, I am shocked at how much the cost of living has increased in the past five years. Comparing the cost of goods from when I started college (in 2020), to during college, and to post-graduate life is eye-opening, as it's only been five years. Life is expensive. As hell.

I agree that 23 is such a challenging age. I also feel like a child. I don’t really know how long this feeling will last. (Someone tell me, does it ever go away?)

But I do think this newfound "adulthood" is exciting because for the first time in my life, I finally am able to do exactly what I want to do without significant limitations. I feel free. I feel empowered. But there is duality in all of this: it's scary. From the deck of cards I am given, which card will I pull? And will I pull the right one?

I don't know.

Waking up and realizing the bubble has finally popped is scary. I remember when I my parents first dropped me off at college I cried for the first few days because it was weird and I wanted to go home. My parents told me that it would go by quickly. I thought they were lying but they weren't. It went by even faster because I graduated early.

"I wish I knew more about the reality of bills and time management when I'm not relying on staying with family. I would've tried to have more fun in college with my time off because I didn't realize how abruptly breaks would end as well."

"I wish I knew how much of post-grad would feel like I'm reverting back to the old me. I feel like I'm a high schooler again but with responsibilities and bills and adult money. It's a bit of a difficult balance to have a newfound freedom but feel stuck in your teenage trauma/experiences."

"The independence is cool but feeling like you've lived everyday for this phase of life only for it to be chaotic and most questions are unanswerable is difficult."

"I wish I knew how fragile every aspect of life was. Tragedies occur for no reason everyday and it can/will impact you for the rest of your life."

I wish that I knew how much your childhood will slap you in the face, and how much of that you will have to dissect and decipher in order to figure out who you are and who you want to be. It feels like I am constantly figuring out ways to rebuild myself using the different materials but the same foundation. That's the best way I can describe it.

As much as I love my independence and as much beauty and transformation lies within it, there is plenty of chaos and ambiguity that ensues as the days go on. And in the midst of all it, you somehow have to still keep it together. It's hard to keep it together.

As much good as I experience, it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. I also am never at home, which, is exhausting, and as a result of that, I struggle with maintaining a routine. I also feel like I've set so many goals and completed so much in my life already that I just want a chance to free my brain from feeling like there's another goal that I need to intensely chase.

At one point, I thought that someone would hand me a giant book on how to navigate life and I could follow it like a bible. (How naive was I?)

"I wish I had done a few internships."

"I would spend even more time meeting people and making connections. As someone who was in a million clubs, worked and did school (even got 1000+ connections on LinkedIn). I wish I did even more. I barely slept during that period of my life but the connection I made really does help me to this day and although I did a lot more than most, I should've done more! I would also ask for more guidance from professors and older students. I'd give myself more grace and give little college [redacted] a hug."

"I'd give myself more grace and give little college [redacted] a hug."

"In school, I'm not sure what I would do different. Maybe build better habits regarding my physical health. Engage with the internet less is easy to say in hindsight but it was [during] COVID."

I wish I took advantage of certain opportunities that I knew I wouldn't be able to recreate in post-grad life. For example, I went through a rigorous application process to teach English in Spain, received the offer, and then I ultimately declined the offer because it was would have delayed my graduation date. It's not to say that I can't do that now, but that would require me to bend my life in ways that I’m not willing to be flexible with at this moment.

I had a professor ask if I would like to be a teaching assistant (TA) for her class but I declined because I had an internship going on already. In hindsight, I wish I would've just figured it out and did the TA position because I know that would've enjoyed that more than the internship.

Lastly, I wish I had the privilege of truly learning. There were many times that I couldn’t attend class or go to office hours because I had to work. I worked a lot because I had to. I was so used to breezing through everything and doing the bare minimum to pass: I never really studied, I didn’t take as many notes as I should’ve, and I mostly just relied on whatever I retained whenever I happened to attend class or when I did homework. Even now, with no homework due or deadlines approaching, I still breeze through things that I really should slow down and read through (like a recipe or instructions on how to build furniture.)

I wish that I was able to just sit and immerse in learning and teach myself the right way to study and the right way to retain knowledge. Still to this very day, I do not know how to study. I have no studying techniques stored in my brain. I kind of just pick up as I go. It's interesting because I love to learn. I love to hear about new shit. I'm such a huge nerd at heart.

A lot of people tell me that I'm too hard on myself. I don't think I am. I just know what's at stake. Besides, all of my hard work usually pays off, anyways. As much as I work hard, I do remember to play equally as hard.

P.S. I, too, would give College Version of Me a hug. She deserves one. A very long one.

-C

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